Rainy day mumbing

I wake up in the morning; brush my teeth, dream of a lovely hot cuppa and then Adhi dear wakes up. There goes my morning breakfast.

I prepare a nice steaming, spicy burger for myself, top it with lemon-pepper corn, also plan for a nice hindi movie, and Adhi wakes up.

I plan to write a blog post, think of the exact words I want to type, sit with my lappy, and yeah, Adhi wakes up.

This has been my life ever since my Mom flew back to India last week. I never get to complete the task at hand or task in mind. Being a mom has been the most demanding task of my life. Right now, I am rocking Adhi to sleep, balancing the lappy on one lap and typing with one hand. I am so multi-tasking! And yes, I am watching Jaane Tu and trying to comprehend what in the world is this story about.

Adhi has been a very good baby these days. She smiles, tries to talk, plays and makes me feel really special. She thinks my voice is the sweetest, I am the prettiest and I am the most wonderful person on earth. Not that she told me all this, but I just love to assume things myself. But yes, she does talk to me all day in her lovely little baby talk. And these days, we have been enjoying each other’s company to the max which has left the RK fella quite unsettled.

Also, I have been working on a scrap book for Adhi. It’s a nice big book I am filling with little memories for Adhi and myself. Less for Adhi and more for myself, actually. When Adhi grows up, gets married, has her own family, and I am still alive (I doubt that with the curses I have credited in my life account), RK fella and me, old, grey hair, glasses, walking stick, will relive all the lovely memories and feel proud of our little girl. Hence, I have been spending the little available time on this book. It has to be really special you see.

And have you ever felt this? You meet a person for the first time and feel that you have known them all your life? You both click so well that end up chatting for hours and laugh at nothings like best friends? Well, I have met a neighbour who is of my age, and we have just clicked! Now we have tons of nothings to talk about.

Well, Adhi is up and wants to play. I have two options, either post this now or keep it pending for few more weeks. I think I will opt for the former choice. Here we go, its Adhi time now.

Adhi, thy name

I must have been some 12 years old when I decided my baby’s name would be Adhi. It was to be A-A-D-H-I, stressing on the ‘aa’ part. Simple. I don’t know why I came up with this name or why at that age I was thinking of my baby. I loved to play house-house game with my friends, I used to be the mom, and I wanted my baby to be Adhi.

Years passed by, I grew up but the name stuck with me. My baby would be Adhi, I dint care if it was a boy or a girl. Nah, that wouldn’t matter anyway, will it? Baby girl would mean living my dreams and seeing my childhood all over again and having a new little friend, life would be wonderful!

Baby boy would be fun, super fun, minus all the pretty dresses and dolls. It would be guns, video games, bikes and all the macho stuff at home. Life would still be wonderful and eventful.

So, for all my life, I stuck with this name. I even told RK fella that our baby would just be Adhi. There would be no discussions, no arguments and no second thoughts.
Now, this RK fella is a man with very few words and loads of thoughts. So he giving an ‘hmm’ response could mean anything from OK to lets see to NO. Anyway, I wasn’t to care about what he thought. After all, I have spent all these years on Adhi.

At my 21 weeks scan I was told that I was carrying a baby girl. Now, I was overjoyed and sad at the same time. All the frills, laces, pretty dresses, lovely curls, she would be my little princess. And sad because-what would happen to ‘Adhi’???

For the next few weeks RK fella and I hunted every website, every name base for a nice name. Nothing seemed to get a nod from both. I had very definite wants with the name.

1. The name should be in Sanskrit
2. It should have a Vedic meaning
3. It should be very unique
4. No one whom I know should have the name
5. It should begin with ‘AA’

RK fella wasn’t too happy with the name starting from A. He said it was too common and baby might be the first on the attendance register. So it was a definite NO from him.

He had very simple want-it should have his name and my name in it. Hence he came up with ‘Radha’. Now, Radha is a nice name, really nice. But dude, how happy will our Radha be when she is 21??? She might even put us up for adoption. I was totally against it. My baby won’t be called Radha- I said NO.

Then we finally agreed on Himali, after Himalayas. It was a nice name, we both agreed, easy to pronounce, easy to write, and it sounded sexy; Himali! That was it. For the next four months, she was Himali to us.

Then, one fine morning, I got a text from RK fella;

You want ‘AA’-I say ‘NA’
I want ‘Radha’-you say ‘NA’
So A-RADHA-NA!!!

Hmm, the Rajesh Khanna-Sharmila Tagore wala Aradhana??? I loved all the songs from that movie! It was a nice name no doubt; very old one, unique, started with ‘aa’, had vedic meaning, was in Sanskrit, and no one I knew had that name. But wasn’t it too long?
What’s more, we could still call her Adhi!!!

And the same morning I went into labour and our little Aradhana was born!

On being a Mom

Thou shalt not ever trouble thy Mater
Thou shalt not ever question thy Mater’s pearls of wisdom
Thou shalt not take thy Mater’s advice lightly
Thou shalt consult thy Mater at every step
Thy Mater is always right

I have been a Mom only for 2 months now, but already taken a resolution- never, never to trouble my Mom ever again. I am still left in great astonishment how my parents raised my bro and me. Every single day, I am left wondering and speechless on how tolerant and loving my mom has been for all these years and still is! Raising two of my types (read bro and me) for all these years must be hell lot of a job. Specially, when troubling parents seemed to be the only aim of our existence. And therefore, I think every mom deserves a Nobel Peace award.

Oh yeah, trust me. It took me 26 years of my life (I know I am not supposed to disclose my age, so please forget it) to understand what it is to be a mother. In two months, I have gone through so many emotions, from sheer happiness and joy to utter desperation and anger. Each day is a new story and a new learning. Being a mother must be the biggest learning of all and nothing that one has read or heard will ever prepare you for the actual thing.

Now, my little Adhi is a real good baby. Everyone says so. She does only 4 things; cry-feed-poo-sleep. And she does that in cycles. Now you think that’s nothing? True.
But when each little act from her requires me to spend considerable amount of my energy, it leaves me totally drained and uh-oh.

When she cries, she makes such a sad face that the mamta in me comes overflowing. Now, I am not a heartless person to leave that little angle crying, am I? But when this little baby cries for hours through out the day, all my mamta drains, evaporates and I am left close to pulling my hair and yours, if you were around.

Feeding looked like an easy task at first, but now, the feed goes on for ever. At the same time, there is a bit of crying, bit of pinching, bit of beating legs, etc. And this happens nearly every hour of day and luckily a few times at night. And I forgot to mention, after ever feed I need to burp Adhi a few times too.

Discussing poo is not something I have ever done before I had Adhi. But then, motherhood opens doors to many things in life which we have never done before, doesn’t it? So, yes, poo and wee are the other two things on my daily agenda. According to my midwife, I need to worry about the soiled and wet nappies. So my daily math is restricted to the counting of nappies.

Sleep-don’t I wish I could have an uninterrupted sleep for a few hours? Anyway, making Adhi sleep requires cooing-singing-humming-patting-stroking-bouncing-and any other baby sleeping antics you can think of. Then, don’t you dare make a sound else a shrill cry will just make you want to stuff a whole pillow into your ears.

All this activity is also accompanied by oil massage, bathing, dressing, playing etc. Most of them accompanied by crying or pooing or sleeping or feeding. So, get the picture???

Yes, that’s how my days have been in the past two months. I never get to finish the task at hand, I never get to eat on time, I never get to sleep uninterrupted, I never get time to read, and I never get MY time. It took me three days to write this post and even when I was thinking, my thoughts were interrupted. Phew- a double phew!

But, for me, every minute with Adhi is precious. Every little activity is a big learning process and I know I am getting there. We are learning and growing together; she as a baby and me as a mother. I am also learning to appreciate what my mother did for me with much more realization.

I know, as each day passes by, I will never get it again. So I live my each minute with her to the max. I gather each minute so that I have lot of memories of little Adhi when she grows up. When my mom tells me about my childhood, I just think to myself, ‘this would be me in few years time’. When I first held Adhi in my arms, it was the most beautiful moment of my life. And I will never get that feeling ever again, nor the feeling how I felt when she looked at me and smiled. Those moments still make me cry and I am sure my mom still cherishes the moment she held me for the first time.

Tomorrow she will grow into her own person. She will not need me to be around her, she will have her own life, her own family, just like I do now. But then, for today, she needs me and that’s one hell lot of a comforting feeling for me. She needs me for all her little needs (I am not sure if little babies have ‘wants’ as yet).

So my little Adhi, cry-feed-poo-sleep all you like. I just love being there for you.

A comeback for new reasons

It’s been a year, a whole year!

*clap clap*

Yes, one full year without me talking to my dear bloggy, infact I had forgotten my login and password. I only said an occasional Hi! To my dear lappy and er, dear brainy was totally neglected too. Such utterly disastrous behavior of recklessness was totally unheard of during my insane days. Yes, I am still insane as ever, but these days I prefer calling myself sane.

I have my reasons, rather excuses explaining my mysterious disappearance. Russian war, Gaza crisis, Zimbabwe upheaval are some of them. They are still simpler compared to the gravity of mine.

Marriage
I absolutely have no idea what in sane world made me agree to this trap and plunge into endless responsibilities. RK fella is a great partner and companion but being pushed into the 'Aunty' circle wasnt exactly great. But as they say, happiness is not everything, one needs to get married.
*sigh*

Relocation
With marriage came the bonus of relocating to a new place, a new timezone, a new city, a new country, hell! a totally new continent. It meant a new life from scratch. Now that was something I could do without, 4 different places in 4 years.
*sigh*

Wife
Being the Harley dada comes naturally to me but being a wife, a GOOD one at that takes some effort. And if it means cooking, laundry, shopping, cleaning, eh-the less said, the much better. In total, I was kept off hook with my devil self and shown the domestic side of the poor me.
*sigh*

Home
My colour matching sense limits to my clothes and many a times, even they seem out of place. When given the Herculean responsibility of furnishing an empty house, decorating it, buying all the essentials and coordinating all the bits to make it our perfect little nest, I was left buried in piles of catalogues and interior design books. Not to forget weekly trips to furniture shops. And top it with endless arguments with the RK fella.
*sigh*

Job
Well, I did have my times of blissfully not moving a finger, but then, that time IS for not moving a finger. How can I make myself think or type?
*sigh*

Motherhood
Yeah, you heard it right, I have just been promoted as a full-time MOMMY, a diaper changing, bottom cleaning, all-time feeding, lullaby singing, coo chi cooing, full time mom.
*yeh yeh yeh*

And THAT is the only reason I am back to my bloggy, to proudly tell stories of my little princess, my dear little Adhi baby.

Aradhana, born on March 27th, 2009

Some bones in general

Long time ago when the bones in me were not so lazy, I used to think out my not-very-sensible-thoughts aloud and let them to the mercy of Mr. Bloggy. Then, one day a very shocking thing happened; I got married!

And talking about the lazy bones, I am married to a person who is obsessed with bones. No, really. All that I see strewn around the house are books, papers, charts, manuals and publications on bones. I even get to proof read his articles and presentations on some boney issues. I had no idea that so many boney fellas lived in me, no wonder that I am so lazy now!

Anyway, much of my daily activities now revolve around the tele and that blessed thing called remote control. I had never known the bliss of being empty head, no deadlines to meet, no one to question, lie on the bed, hot coffee and tele sir! My life would have been a little more perfect if RK could decide on the big plasma and the recliner soon. But till then, I have nothing much to complain from life. Even my thinking is restricted to the usual nashta-sabzi-dinner wala thoughts. Get the picture?

I must say cartoons rock! Be it India, USA or UK. Kiddos get the best of the entertainment. I am big fan of the BBC-Milkshake and actually plan to paint a Bday card for myself and send it to them. They have this cool thing of reading everyone’s cards with their favorite cartoons and stuff. Oh, for those who forgot, my Happy wala B’day is next week and I love gifts.

Also, I realized that I had a fine chef bone somewhere in me. Result, I cook and I cook really well. Atleast that’s what RK keeps telling his friends and my folks. (Maybe that’s a way to keep wife at a happy bay?) Seriously, I cook a lot these days and I am a regular at recipe sites and I cook healthy stuff!

Since I neither do anything much, nor do I think much these days, that’s it for now.