The man upstairs

Mr. Tanhaaye was lazy this noon (as lazy as he always is) and I pulled him to sit next to me and browse through our mails in the yahoo mail folder. Yes, I share my id with those 3 fellas- tanhaaye, bloggy and peanut butter brainy, as they too have some friends around the cyber space, they say. In this way, it lets me keep a track of their brutish activities and the sole ownership of the password keeps them under my wing.

Anyway, I have been “yahooing” (I fancy using it as a verb) for almost 5 years now and Mr. patted my back on my display of some consistent relationship. Now, don’t the people in yahoo need to appreciate my loyalty and present me with some free trips to Niagara? *hmpf*

I came across this mail which I had posted for my Canara2k group sometime in ‘05. We had some theme writing stuff in the group and every member was brewing some real funny stories about our college days. This was one such story about my highly kleptomaniac college life.

Please note: The original post is preserved to bring out the original posted feelings. (if this makes any sense et al)

April 09, 2005.(the day this post was written. The incident must have happened sometime back in 1999 ?)

“nauv aapril, san doou saau paanch”- to give the filmy effects. Some ghodas running –tok tok, some haatis screaming- haaaan, some bandukes flying- bang bang.


As the theme for this month is funny moments in Canara* and the OwnerSaab hit one really nice incident about B section, I think C section** had its own fun filled days. Specially, since we had all the "rapchik item" lecturers.

Well, honestly saying I don’t have many memorable moments in the 2 years spent in Canara College but there are a few which still have me laugh flat on the ground at how dumb I was (it's a total different thing that the same dumbness still continues).

Rajesh Kamath*** used to take English class for us in the second year. A class where most of us could give some rest to our stressed brains and let the creases of our foreheads to relax. With hours of logs, maths, protons and chemicals grilling, even his pathetic PJ jokes were a welcome. The whole class used to laugh with such blissful vigor that made RK grin,
"man…aint I really funny??"

It was a phase of my life where everything was in a big- Big- BIG haze for me. I was some micro molecule short of being in a total zombie like state where I was not comprehending the 5W+1H of my life. (for the uninitiated, 5W+1H refers to that fundu principle those fundu journalists use: why, when, which, what, who, how) mostly because of the early tuition hours.

The poor owl’s soul in me was not used to winking awake at the crack of dawn and I had to rush to IV’s or Moody’s **** for tuitions and that was what I loathed the most. The result was the state of extreme trance in the class hours.

I had perfected the art of sleeping in the class with my eyes wide open. I really don’t know how I managed to sit in that state without being caught for a whole 2 years. Either the lecturers were too naïve to know or just decided to ignore me??? Whatever….

Back to business, it was one of RK's musically pitched English class and that too the lazy afternoon hour. I had got up very early that day as I had to complete Moody’s ‘imposition’ of writing some complex-complan molecular formula 100 times. So I was enjoying a peaceful afternoon siesta to the lori-fying voice.

The chapter in progress was "The Man Upstairs". If you guys remember, it was about some old man who was thought to be dead and his daughters dived into dividing his assets and all that kind of batwara stuff. Off late, RK was into an annoying habit of pairing the class in his own weird sense of humor. We didn't mind as long as we had some good laugh.

Now, RK was cracking up some really sad pj’s on "upstairs- honeymoon- bedroom" and the other similar crap. It was when my eyes decided on hibernating and taking no more idiosyncrasies. And unfortunately RK chose that very moment to pounce on me.

Kaveriappa(my fellow classmate) was the man upstairs in the bedroom. Whatever…I don't remember much of what was going on before I dozed off. But, what I do remember is that, RK, in a highly melodramatic voice asking me,

“Well Dharmu ! what were YOU doing upstairs??"
(the stress was on YOU)

Poor me, unaware of the happenings in the immediate surroundings, with really dreamy eyes said,

“Sir, I was sleeping”.

The whole class including RK burst out laughing at a pitch that must have scared the crows 1 mile away and I really dint know why? With a foolish look I turned around and saw a real pink-red-scarlet Kaveriappa giving me "the" look.

I kept wondering till the end of the hour, with a stupid question mark on my face, till my friends told me the whole sequence. I was so embarrassed that I totally avoided crossing Kaveriappa for the whole year. I don't know if he remembers this incident but I have “the look” he gave me so fresh in my mind that it still makes me "sharam se paani".


//Dampoo's guide for the non-canara junta//

*- The college where I did my pre-university. We had several sections for each combo and for PCMB; we had A-B-C section.
(Her highness belonged to the deemed C section)

**- Trust me, we had the most animated lecturers of the dept. There was also this trait of all not-so-studious-only-time pass students being in majority in this section.

***- RK was one Sir with some real weird sense of humor. He could not speak sense without juicing some underlying doubled meanings to any given matter at any given point of time. But, we student liked him as his class always roared with laughter.

**** - Prof.’s to whom majority of the Canara junta went for additional coaching. Er, this was the only place where we actually bothered to read something at all.


Aw, now I am a shade of scarlet, Damn that man upstairs!

Its about general nothings

This post does not make sense, it dint make an ounce of sense to me and I assure you, it wont make any sense to you either. I highly recommend you avoid reading it and rather wipe you monitor screen clean.

Almost 4 days past the last post and HERO has no mood to write. No, not even the naan-sensical, highly unrelated ramblings she usually does with Hrithik's vigour. Every dead bone(yes, under all those newly accumulated flabs, she has bones) in her body is as lazy as the rhino in the pool on a hot summer noon.

At this given time, when the sun is shining, birds are chirping, frogs are croaking, those 3 fellas, Tanhayee, Bloggy and Peanut butter brain are snoring to glory with the dreams of Bipasha, dripping wet in that white gown from Jism. I heard that they have a mega thing about Bips, and lemme tell you, I don’t care. I have this thing about that John Abraham dude and Harley. I am still nuts about it.

If you think I was hibernating for the past four days, nope, you are wrong. I was counting the hair in my neighbor’s nose, coloring the hair of a cat, making random calls to random strangers- asking about their opinion on Air India flight schedules and planning the budget for Somalia.

Ok, I am a jerk, I agree but did you really take this l-o-n-g to guess??? I am horrified. Jeez..

Last weekend, I spent a whole day at the zoo with 4 other friends, running wild and getting tandoori tanned under the sun. SD zoo is supposed to be one of the best maintained zoos in US and I was really impressed. Everything looked tamed but me. But the sad part was that most of the animals were snoring to glory when I called upon them. Poor me, I was sadly deprived of making funny faces at them.
*sniff sniff*

Last evening I slept from 6 pm to 7am today morning with 30 mins waking time to drink milk. Now, talk about having sleeping as a hobby. I truly hope I get a husband who will encourage such self-indulging activities and keep the dining table spread with mouth watering dishes when I get up for my 30mins break. Even better if he will feed me, pyaar se- apne haaton se- goodi mein bithake.
If you know any such sharif ladka, do lemme know, er btw I am a vegetarian please.

I have been busy the whole day taking some random online psychology tests. I must tell you that it confirmed about me having some shredded traits of mental disorder. Not that I was in any doubt about my “special” abilities but it feels good when a standardized module agrees with you.
Last seen, I was playing ‘bheege hont’ on the harp on the cloud 9 and also managed to make a few Govinda moves.

I have suddenly taken a fancy to the Google Translation tools. Many of my friends have been targeted with some random german- french- italian- spanish mails. Some of them bothered to mail back with equally senseless matter and I made a mental note of my friends same-to-same with my IQ. Please don’t wince if you get one such nerve jerking fanatical mail and please be courteous enough to mail me back. I believe in the power of communication, whole heartedly.

For people who are planning to take a vacation touring India, do lemme know. I have a decent travel plan drafted for Agra (7days), Khajraho(5days) and Lakshadweep(10days).
I have also mailed the travel agency to quote the prices and details which I will be glad to share with the interested junta. Nope, I am not making travel arrangements for my honeymoon, I hate honey.
It’s just that I like to travel and one darling friend (I hope the Kaup beach promise still holds good) mentioned about these places and I decided to make a complete planning project on them. If any one wants details on any other places, do mail me.
Things I do to keep myself from been hysterically home sick.

Owing to some insensitive display of unappreciated behaviors of certain individuals, repeatedly over a period of time, her Highness has decided to overlook certain things around her, be indifferent and dedicate her entire time and self to herself and her self-indulging activities. This truly means that she will spend more time writing stuff and keeping Mr.Blog on his toes. Warning the junta to remain protected against my unrelated ramblings.

I donno why, I miss my Ma a lot today. *sigh*

Games HERO played

Long long ago I was a kid. I was this sweet, innocently cute, delightfully enduring, sugarly pretty li’l girl. I know it’s hard to believe, but trust me I was one. No, I really was one.

*gives a eyelid fluttering smile, like that of daisy duck*

OK, I was joking.

I did mention it in this post that I spent the best of my summer vacations in Thirthahalli, a small village nuzzling on the banks of river Tunga. We have our paternal ancestral home (ajjimane) there and every vacation saw 6 hyper cousins (3 guyz-3 gals) growing together in each other’s company. It was fun to have 2 anna’s (elder bros) bossing you, a akka (elder sis) doting on you, and 2 more insane brats of your age loving you and that wonderful feeling of being a ‘family’.

We also had some good company of the neighboring kids (all guys) of our age who mastered some ‘out-door’ activities. You could read it as a total rolly-polly gang of untamed kids, eager to vent out their energy on unmonitored activities. Exceptions were the two couz sisters of mine who never ventured out to learn the blissful brutish activities.

Under the stern guidance of these guys I mastered a few gully games. I did play with Barbies, kitty house, dolls too, but these gully games have been the best ‘la memoria’ of my childhood. (Peanut butter brain insisted on retaining the local names of games)

AIS-PIES

This is a desi-version of hide-and-seek, where all hide and the seeker tries to locate the hidden people. Our ajjimane had loads of dark corners and hiding was never a problem. We could stand behind any pillar or door or even hide under the chair for that matter. But each one was equally scared of sitting behind the dark corners as much as the seeker was scared to come looking for us.

Once, one of my couz rolled himself in the carpet and fell asleep. We looked for him and later, ruled him out. Poor fellow got up after hours having terrible cramps in his legs.

KHAMBAATA

On the first floor was a long hall and here, for reasons known only to the great grand taatas (some great grandpa was supposed to planned the house) we had several pillars. There would be one seeker and the rest would run between the pillars, changing places. It was a quite stupid game as there were so many pillars and we would fight over them.

LA’GORI

Nope, it’s not a French game. We have seven stones placed on each other making a pyramid, 2 teams and one rubber ball. One team will hit the pyramid and try to build it again; the other team will try to hit the rubber ball to the opp team’s legs. The whole funda sounds so weird.
Why break the pyramid in the first place?

KALLA-POLICE

Meaning ‘robber-police’ and this was one decent game which we placed without destruction and running down the place. This game was mostly played after lunch. We made chits of different titles like king- queen- mantri- thief- police and the police had to guess the robber. We had some points for this game which I don’t remember now.

JUUTAATA

It is the simple run & catch game. We usually played it on the river banks and had many versions of this one running affair. Sometimes we just ran without knowing who the catcher was.
Similar games: lock & key, Poison-poison, chain.
Er, we were nuts I tell you.

FISHING

Nope, we didn’t have any fancy rods or boats. All we had was a bath towel which we spread under the water and collected the fishes in the bottle. The whole tedious process was enjoyed for hours and the goody li’l us, always put the fishes back into the water.
(Else, grandma would throw a fit)

BRIDGE CONNECTION

This has been one of my favorite to this date and we cousins gleefully jump into this even now. The bank of the river is covered with shiny sand which is digged to form small “wells”. Each one digs a well of his own and makes a connection with other wells. After the whole process which takes a good deal of 3-4 hrs, we all jump into the connected wells. The whole affair is dead messy and trust me when I say our nails hurt.
Sometimes, we covered this pit with leaves and twigs and hoped someone would fall into it.

PULTI

This is outrageously stupid. We had a dedicated room at our disposal, where the mattress was spread from wall-to-wall. We would roll leg-over-head, head-over-leg like the circus monkey all over the room. This was some fun.

TYRE RACE

Simple game. Take a cycle tyre, take a stick, race the tyre with the stick and run along the unpaved roads. A total fun game when 7-8 kids run behind each other racing their tyres. Er, it was done on barefoot. Talk about being a girl.

CHATTERBILLI

We fancied carrying a catapult in our back pockets all the time and aiming it randomly at anything that caught our eye. I must say, I had a very good aim when it came to streetlights and I was a proud dame among those guys.

KALLU RIPPLE

You take a flat stone, aim it right on the surface of the water and let it jump or kind of bounce. This needs loads of practice and a very good grip on the throwing style. Also, one must have the eye to choose the right flat stone. I was very good at this with my average being 3 ripples but last year when I tried, the stone just gulped down. Looks like I have lost my touch.

DOUBLE DECKER DOONI

Boat making was a talent practiced and perfected with time. Double decker boat was a hot favorite as it sailed longer during the boat race. We always stuck to the local newspaper to make these boats had some fancy names too.

BENKI KADDI

This was one more game requiring some practice. One had to flip the matchstick with his thumb and forefinger and light it. However, we never tired it on our tongues.

PIRATES

We had a bed sized ‘jhula’ which served as our ship. We were the pirates and waged many wars against unknown soldiers. Ok, this was really dumb but I wonder how we played all morning, acting like pirates?

FRUITY

We had this huge bridge across the river. We would throw the empty fruity box from one side and calculate the time it would take to reach the other. I know this is not a game, but what the heck, we dutifully did it almost every day.

JARBANDI

On the banks was this one huge rock (bande kallu) which acted as our slide. We would rub all the available leaves on the rock to make it smooth and slide endlessly. Every night our back side reported some miserable burning. These days the rock slide is really smooth and I think we did a good job then.


We did play many more games which I don’t recall much now. But each minute of those fun-filled days gave me a childhood which I will never get back. Those days spent with my cousins have taught me some very essential lessons of life, to love, to share, to care, to adjust, to learn and to laugh.

I guess, none of our next generation will ever get these joyful days. These days where the chip games are much more favored than the olden days of simple games, I think the whole spirit of playing together; laughing at simple things, sharing love with cousins has changed.

As I type this, I remember my cousins, one- growing up again with his li’l daughter, one- happily cuddling her new born angel, one- enjoying the bliss of his newly married life, one- busy coding and decoding some of his nerdy bug, one- just stepping into her professional life, and one- me, missing them like crazy.

Some out-standing student uh?

Its 2.15 on a normal thursday afternoon and I am in the office. After a hearty meal and a siesta in the park, I fruitfully use this time to check my mails and random forwards. Those fwds- which needs to be sent to other 10 jobless friends hoping that you will find your true love before 12 that night, or you will be haunted with bad luck and your son won't find his gf. It’s a nice routine I follow as it peps my mood to work later ( yes, I do work between the breaks), you see.

Anyway, I got this mail from a friend today about some article in Business Times. Yes, it’s that magazine, which every management student fancily carries all over the campus but never reads, which gives glossy numbers for companies, which helps us to draft a few heavy weight presentations making no sense to anyone, and never to forget, gives a listing of all the top business schools and companies.

As a student I was a regular reader of such magazines and used most of the un-understanding stuff for my management competitions. I realized that not much people argued or commented when I presented some bhari-bharkam numbers as a reference and judges always gleamed with satisfaction. Also, it was a silent weapon against the fellow presenters. "These are my figures dude, where are your's?" This practice earned me much of my trophies displayed proudly in my living room back in Mlore. So this mail from my friend brought back a wonderful memory from my uni days.

*me is seen giving a far-sighted mellow look- eyes watery- picture ripples- faint music in the background*

The date was sept 11 and year 2003. I was in my first semester of MBA. Prof. Sridhar was giving lectures on principles and practices of management. (Yawn) It was thirty minutes past ten in the morning, the first session of the day. I was dead sleepy after my mid-night movie session of Basant Bahar(Thanks dad!).

Prof. was known for his calm and patient attitude towards his students. He had some fundu degree from Japan, was a resource person for some hifi companies and stuff. He has a record of not raising voices or throwing students out of class in his 30 years of blissfull teaching life. Well, excluding a senior who was asked to leave the class, Prof has a clean record with students, especially with the female crowd. He was our definition of “cool dude sir”. A must mention is that I had this mega sized thing for this Prof coz I was hoping on him being my guide for my PhD.

Back to the classroom, the lecture was so boring that even the bacteria in my nose were drowsing. Not to blame them. BT had released their new issue of “50 best companies to work for” which had me drooling head-to-toe hoping to land in one of such big names. Infact, I was dreaming of me walking around in a suit and attending board room meetings soon. (Now, I could kick my arse for such dreams, I loathe board room meetings) People in the bus did give me stares when I took the seat in the same way as Bips in Corporate. I liked that movie and specially her make-up less face. She looks chick.

Uh, back to topic. There I was sitting in the first row, the first girl, right under the nose of Prof. reading the BT and making notes. My strategic location was so close that I could measure the length of his beard hair and count the grey from black.I guess Prof realized my minutes taking only when I had covered the best part of the 45 companies. The usually pink sir turned to a shade of maroon. And the usual fair me turned to a shade of scarlet. Aila! Shade card for Asian Paints?

With a soft and stern voice sir said, “Can you please find a different place to complete that book?” (in exact words) and I dutifully walked out with complete poise and grace. The same way I would have walked from a boardroom meeting, wearing a Armani suit and carrying a leather lappy case. I must say I was nervous coz it was my first time in uni. Er, forgot to mention that being thrown out from class was my part-time hobby from school days, I have been a OUT-standing student.

So, under the shade of the tree I completed the book, made notes for the next upcoming competition and drafted the presentations. After 2 hours, I went to Prof, apologized (me to him, him to me, it was mutual) and we both discussed the same presentation. After all, he was my guide when I had any doubts for my topics and we laughed over the whole thing. He was in mixed feelings coz I broke his perfect clean record and I tried to console him. I know, I can get on nerves.

The best part came later in the noon when my seniors came to know of this. I was treated for almost a week in the canteen for this record breaking performance. Since I was very fond of this sir, they found it all the more amusing. Er, I could add that it boosted my brat image to a greater extent.

It was then, 3 years back when I was a irresponsible, immature student. I must say I still laugh at this incident when I think of it. I was such a nuisance, ok, I am even now, but then I was worse. But this Prof has been one of my all time favorites and I just adore him. He has given me some valuable insights for my studies and career. It was under his persuasion that I did my MS in psychotherapy. (I guess he thought I needed it badly).

Sadly enough, it was the last time I enjoyed being a out-standing student coz later, I never turned in for most of the classes. I was one among the guest student category excelling in the 'bunk-thy-class-to-thy-heart' category. Jeez...I miss being a student.

I have "pen-se-mania"

I was writing this letter to a friend today. Haan, the typical type ka, which starts with “hope you are found in pink/green/blue of health” and ends with “convey my regards to uncle, aunty, bunty, billi and your doggy raju”. Not that I had to discuss some GDP growth issues of Somalia or review the dress patterns of Rani in the movie KANK or for that matter the dal prices in US.

It was a simple letter to do some show-off with my pretty writing which I hope the friend in question will ogle at, use some fundu words and also use the stamps which lay forsaken in my desk. As a school going girl I had this craze for writing letters and dutifully wrote letters every month to every cousin of mine. Now we just e-mail each other (only) when the need arises.

Sorry, I will not discuss my letter writing madness here, but this is about an observation I made. I always had this thing about using the right pen. I have always been very choosey about the pens I use and will never compromise with my “hand” on writing. It’s like John Abraham being choosey about his roles (as I have heard from some glossy magazine). Well, I have this thing for John too.

Give the right pen and I will keep my mouth shut (quite surprising?), take a corner seat and write to glory about all possible things under the sun-moon-Pluto till my fancy for the pen wears off. Nope, I don’t mean a high labeled designer pen, but a nice decent writing pen.

I like a pen to fit snugly into the curve of my thumb and forefinger, the grasp being just right on the middle finger, very sleek and light and which will draw strokes like, er Dravid ? I specially like it when it leaves a classy mark on the white paper. I am dead particular of my writing style too, it being long cursive, slightly slanted to the right.
As a studious, dedicated student (ok, you can stop laughing) I always used an ink pen. I had the best collection of ink pens in my class and never shared it with anyone. I had this belief that every pen has a life of its own and it would follow its master’s style of writing. So, according to me, my pen would be used to my style of writing and sharing it with some random classmate would confuse the pen and later my pen will not write properly.
Ok, I know it does not make sense, but that what I thought as a kid, er, even now.

I must say that the obsession for the pens runs in my family. My ma is very fond of pens and I think she herself is a moving pen store. On a normal digging into her purse one can count a min of 8-9 pens. She will even buy 10 pens for Rs10 type ka on trains. And my dad is a stickler for clean writing. He can sit for hours to neatly draft the pages and I got all my writing “hand” from him. I never write as neatly as him but I am really proud of my cursive “hand”. My bro is a total different story which we can avoid here but he does have a decent writing. (oh, the love for bro makes me tell things so untrue)

I am not very attached to ball point pens as they don’t co-operate with my writing style. Reynolds 045 can be tolerated but otherwise I will not accept any TDH pens. I particularly like the gel pens as they give somewhat similar strokes like that of ink pen. Student gel has been my favorite for the past 5 years now and I had packed a good stock of refills when coming to US.

My best prized possession to date is my HERO pen which my dad gave me when I was in my 5th std. This happens to be his pen from his college days of early 70’s. It is one sleek black pen with a golden cap, a golden arrow on top, genuine 22k gold tip nib and inscribed delicately is ‘made in China’.

I could also mention that I had a dedicated ritual once in every 3 months called the 'pen cleaning session'. All my ink pens were neatly emptied, opened to every bit, soaked in a mug of cold soapy water, brushed delicately and dried on a cotton towel. The nibs were washed separately to avoid scratches. Later using a ear drop filler, perfectly to the brim my pens were treated with Bril ink ( I never used any other ink, it always had to be bril. I did try camlin and chelpark but bril royal blue rocked.)

My trysts with ink pens came much to halt when my pen accidentally stabbed into my left palm and my palm oozed blue blood. I guess for a month I was paranoid about using ink pens but later grew off it. Although I threw that pen in question into the well and watched it drown with a satisfied smirk on my face.

I am highly superstitious about the pens I use. Like; I have a pen which is used solely for the exam purpose and I just change its refill. And one black pen to sign all the important papers given by my Ma for my bday. There is one pen which was given to me by my teacher which I always use for presentations.

But with the use of computers, the use of pen is abandoned to a great extent. I miss those days when I would look out for new models and save every bit of my pocket money to buy it. I also miss the feeling of writing long letters, notes, answers, exams and having that bliss of seeing curvy strokes of blue ink on white paper. *sigh*


Pen speaks: in hindi movies there is always a power cut off or a sad music or the nib snips cut when the hero signs some dhokeywaala papers. Any say on this ?

Happy Independence Day !

India
Date: August 15, 2006
Local Time: 12:00a.m.

San Diego
Date: August 14, 2006
Local Time: 11.30a.m.

India
For 23 years, I associated this date with flag hoisting early in the morning, ironed Guides dress for the flag service, cultural programs in school, patriotic songs on TV, tri-color flag flying high on every building, hanging out with friends and holiday.

San Diego
For the first time in my life, miles away from my country, I realize that this day is not about holidays or celebrations. Its about feelings, it’s about patriotism, it’s about belonging, it’s about pride, it’s about sacrifice and it’s about our motherland.

May the tri-color always fly high, Vande Maatharam !


Added later:Kya hua if we are not in India, Rashmi & Me went to the park near the office and sang the national anthem, 'jana gana mana' in complete raag and taal and a heart filled with pride. We also managed to sing a few desh bhakti geet, ok, a few sentences atleast and I must say, it felt good.

Also, I follow the Indian dress week, which means "thou shalt wear only thy traditonal dresses to thy office".

Dimaag ki batti jala

There are very rare days when I really wanna write something sensible. Something which makes people shout, “ayila! Iska bhi dimag hai!” kind of exclamations. I goggled for some serious topics but had to give up my hunt when nothing in my ‘dimaag’ chamber cooperated.

Given the initial 4 hours of some legal training where we had 2 ladies flaunting designer tweed suits and equally flashy slides I had the whole day at my disposal. I dozed for the length of the training and had my fill of orange juice, beagles and muffins. Er, I was a little mad at them for dragging me into the dark training room when I could have had a nice chitto-chat session with *ahem in India.

I had introduced this concept on “ragging” to my old boss sometime back. And now she thinks it’s cool to try that on our new-entry boss. Hence, I am in a transition stage from one team to another which, in simple term means that- till my new boss makes some sense of this new project I can be absolute senseless.

My whole day was spent doing things of worldly importance like make coffee for myself, going on a long walk, making random calls to friends, and listening to songs on my ipod.

My current job requirement says “you need to LOOK busy” complete with staring at the comp and sporting a serious look on my face. So, as implied, my comp screen and me have been staring at each other very seriously.

I checked all the major airline schedules and came to a conclusion that all the fights were flying on time. Hence, if anyone is running late, please inform the concerned flight agents, especially if you have checking baggage.

I have browsed all the travel sites to check flight rates and schedules to India. Each site offers a very appealing deal but pity; I cannot book it as yet. I even tried to get a deal on 5 day transit in UK or Singapore for the same price. Anyone who wishes to fly from US to India, do contact me.

I read the e-news on NDTV, TOI and Udayavani and got a few updates on each front. I even know that some Ramanna in some remote village of Vellore lost his ekloti cow in some river. I took some random opinion polls and hope my vote will be of some help to some research soul.

I read some Archie’s online comics and caught up on all the lost issues. I like this comics, it reminds me of my school days when I would read them for hours. I even played online Barbie games. Nah, I am not ‘that’ stupid but it was long since I dressed up the dolls and matched their clothes. So, downloaded a few dolly pages and colored them too. My kids are gonna be so lucky to have such a sweet mom!

I goggled for some gaalis and updated myself with their meanings and synonyms. I even found a dictionary of gaalis there and I must say, I am impressed. Personally recommend “ullu ka patta” and the amazing websites associated with it. So next time you better mind your language mister!

I worked myself out on Sodoku puzzles and tried to complete a few squares with some help of copying. Well, I believe n reference work but yes, I do work them fine given my record for hating numbers.

I read my company’s profile in the home site for the first time in 15 months. Never knew they had so many bridges on their site and I was left wondering why they didn’t click the Ullala bridge of Mlore. I think its one of the most beautiful bridges when seen on a full moon night and the drive to Uni was always a welcome owing to this bridge.

I opened my address book in outlook and listed all the locations of my company in US. Jeez, so many branches that I could go for a US round trip and not pay for my lodging. Need to speak to my boss regarding any travel dept opportunities.

I replied to every single living soul in my yahoo inbox including Editor Bob. He might be happy to receive my reply after all these years of going yahoo. But its time people stopped complaining that I don’t reply back.

I did a nice abstract piece of something which really looks very abstract using MSPaint. Lot of shapes, sizes, and colors and it looks kind of demented. I have it on my desktop, maybe if I pursue on these lines, ill be rich and famous one day.

I also did some weather forecasting for all the places I could think of. Looks like the weather dept is working fine and they predict sunny weather for SD.

If anyone knows anything else that will help me spend the next 2 days in the office looking busy and serious, do lemme know. I will honestly appreciate it.

For my dear bappa and pacchi

I wanted to write a very funny post today and I was well prepared for it. The peanut fella drafted all the words on his notepad for me and I just had to tell it to the blog fella who is still slumbering spite of it being Monday. Some lazy people!

But then I read Atticu’s Diary about his childhood memories and then my 70mm screen flashed vivid colorful images of me in piggy tails running crazily with my cousins in our ancestral home in Tirthahalli, a small village on the banks of river Tunga, hidden cozily in the heart of western ghats. I get high on such memories which hold a much cherished place and also I must admit that I still had the hangover after a call from my cousin yesterday.

I was talking to Bhargav (my couz) after six months owing to his Singapore and my US escapades and I realized we both had the same thing on our mind. To go to Tirthahalli, to our ancestral home were my Dattu Bappa (dad’s younger brother) lives now. Mari (refers to ‘baby’ as I adoringly call Bhargav ) and me have the most amazing childhood memories painted in this place. Being almost of same age, we always cling to each other like Siamese twins and hence share a lot in common.

I am lucky to be born into a family where love for each other always stood strong beyond the materialistic life. My dad and his brothers always were the best example for a “family” for my li’l eyes and I grew up surrounded by cousins who were as loved as my own siblings, aunts who cared liked my own mom and uncles who always guided me like my dad. Maybe the hardships of their younger days kept them close or the upbringing from my grandparents instilled this trust, but I grew up with the feeling that we were one huge family.

My DattuBappa (Dattu is his pet name and even after all these years, he’s called so) has been the dearest uncle to me from my very early days. I remember the kiddo me waiting eagerly near the gate every Saturdays for bappa to get éclairs for me (with much shouting from my ma to both of us) and take me out. Bappa always got the best gifts for the pampered me, color pencils, weird shaped erasers, guns (well, I was a tomboy even then), dresses, crayons, chocolates. I simply loved him coming home, telling me stories, taking me to the beach, playing with me, singing for me and best of all, treating me to the ice-cream. For me, bappa was the best Santa Claus I ever had who even did my home work.

Every weekend he would come to Mlore and spend 2 days with us which were awaited with glee. He would sleep and I would walk over his legs, balancing like circus monkey and pester him to tell me stories about his childhood. I narrated all my school stories with animated pleasure and he watched me with all attention. He and my dad always put my bro and me to sleep with their stories and songs.

Come vacations, I would wait for my bappa to take me to Tirthahalli where 2 months of my summer vacation was well spent with all my cousins. We had a big “gang” of guyz (yes, it was full of guys who were boys, males, masculine gender), all hovering around the same age freaking out in the hot sun. I learnt many of my valuable lessons under their supervision, which explains my well-practiced tapori skills.

When Bappa got married, we had even more reasons to go there. Akhil pacchi(aunt) always welcomed us with lot of love and the most delicious cooking. We cousins just dropped there without any qualms or second thoughts, knowing that we had two dearest people awaiting us there. I believe I was the only one who went much more frequently compared to the rest and yes! I was spoilt really badly by them. (I get up one fine day- I fancy getting myself pampered- I call dad/ma- I take the next bus- I land there after 5 hours of journey- I sleep like a donkey- I come back the next day)

A typical night would go with all of us sitting around bappa, and laughing at the most hilarious jokes. He always had so many stories to tell us and we would never get enough of the talks, which sometimes would have been repeated over the years. We would laugh till our stomach ached and tears rolled out of our eyes.

Bappa always took us to our farm in Buklapur and tell his encounters with snakes and mysterious dogs. A picnic lunch to Chippalgudde always made a part of our visit and Bappa always got home the right snacks for us and spoilt us rotten. He took us around the village, telling us stories about our parents and the simple life of the early days.

I could not miss on this one incident that is still afresh in my memory. Bappa always told us mysterious stories about a dog which would be appear from nowhere on a full moon night near the bridge. One lonely night, Mari and I were on our way back from the town and hoped to eat the hot gobibajji sitting on the bridge. We had a fancy for doing such stupid things all the time. The power went off at the right given time and came a dog howling from a distance. The deserted bridge reminded us of the stories told, a shiver ran through our spine, the bajji was forgotten and both of us ran the rest of the mile. Er, I still never go alone on that bridge after all these years.

Years have passed and each one of my cousins have grown up, got married, have kids and we are separated by distances and time zones. It has been ages ever since we all got a common time to spend together and remember the old days together. But we still share the same love and the bond with which we grew up. We still laugh at the same old jokes and make each other the butt of our fun. I miss my cousins dearly and all those simple things around which we grew.

Bappa and pacchi made our ancestral home a part of our life. When my friends dint have stories to tell about their roots, I always had very exciting adventures to tell them about my stay in the 150 year old home. They made it one place where each one of us in the family loved to go and spend a few days. It was a perfect break after all the hectic life.

It was a sacrifice on their part to stay back in that village when greener pastures awaited him. He made it his home and kept the place alive for us. It’s just because of him that we have a place to show to our next generation as our ancestral home. We shall always remain indebt to him for all that love for us and the wonderful childhood memories we had because of that one place.

Miles away, I still long for those late night chats with my bappa and pacchi. I miss spending some time with my li’l sisters who always listen to me with amazed wonder. I miss sleeping lazily in those old dark rooms and getting up late to the smell of pacchi’s cooking. I miss going on long walks in the dark nights listening to some random stories. I miss recalling some funny moments of my yester years.

Years may pass, we may grow, we may change jobs, we may change cities, we may make a lot of money, but we will still run back to that one place in the world which money can never buy for us, where we feel like a child, the home with memories, which is kept alive by two people, my Bappa and Pacchi.

Office tag carried home

As I opened my eyes today morning, a very familiar sight caught my eyes and for a milli-second I thought that I was back in Mlore, on my bed, with my teddy. It had rained all night and SD looked so ditto like Mlore looks early in the morning during the rains. I had the heart to cuddle up cozily in my blanket but the time did not, *frowns-hmm*

A quick shower, jumping steps later I land in the office after smiling at the trees, lawn, rabbits and snails. The whole mood looked relaxed and cozy and the only image in my 70mm screen was that of me cuddling cozily in my warm blanket in the evening with my gunnu(er, for the uninitiated, he is my li'l teddy). Infact I walked around the office with a stupid sleepy look plastered on my face, the whole day.

When the weather is so cloudy and romantic outside, I have no mood to work inside. Uh-oh, no mood to work?

Then its time to blog, yepee!!

There was this TAG stamped on my back by my dear Owner Saab staring at me from a week. I decided to poke my finger into his eye. So, here I go answering some 60 random questions which will further help you to decide that "yes, she is demented, no doubt about it".

For the ones with a weak brain and weaker heart, I suggest you rather count the hair in your nose, play peek-a-boo with your neighbour, throw stones at the street dog or count the pages in the telephone directory.

#What is your full name?
*typical James Bond e-style*
-Rao.
-Dharmashree Rao.
-Shirvanthe Dharmashree Rao.

For those wondering where in the world is ‘Shirvanthe’, it’s a kutti village near Sringeri-somewhere on the western ghats. They have lot of monekys there, which explains a few of my traits.

My ma named me after the centenary building of Hindhu Parishthan, hoping that I would be a reflection of their goals one day. Sorry ma.

#Are you Amercian Or English?
To be honest, I dint know both were different till I landed my arse in SD. I am neither, I am a proud-independent citizen of a proud-independent India.

Other than that I am a "pukka mlore amchi" to the core with undivided love for my dear city and its beautiful life. I like everything which makes a amchi; cusine, traditions, culture, rituals, bonding, teru and javan!

#What are you listening to right now?
"neene neene, nanagella neene; maathu neene, manasella neene"

I have been obsessed with this song from kannada movie – Aakash which stars a pappaya faced Puneet and some cashew faced dame. The song is sung by the nasal maestro Kunal Ganjawala but the music is awesome. Its on loop on my ipod and I guess my firangi colleagues think its my prayer.

#What are the last two digits of your phone number?
41

My cell no can easily make the next clue for the Da-vinci-code.

#What was the last thing you ate?
Knowing me, its easily someone’s brain.

I roamed around the office-randomly picking my colleagues - and giving them gyan.
(French fries and hot fudge from Mc.Donalds does not count)

#If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Light blue, no second thoughts.

A confession: I find men in light blue shirts appealing to my eyes big time.
I think they look really macho in light blue shirt, black well ironed, well
fitted trousers and blue tie (optional) with neat pair of black socks and jet
black polished shoes.
Man, I am grinning with the bluey thought.

#How is the weather right now?
hmm, romantic-just perfect for a cozy, cuddly sleep.

Make it-fan on full swing, curtains draped closed, old mukesh song in the back ground and light rains outside. mummy!

#Last person you talked to on phone?
With pleasure : Dev, who called at his unearthly hour of 2 past midnight to confirm if I would be online today.
With no-pleasure : a client who thought talking to me was her only things-to-do-for-today list.

#First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Bulge !!!
Er, the tummy bulge for heavens sake!

I have this irresistible attraction towards the tummy of men. I find it outrageously cute. Well, don’t laugh, I have real weird tastes. *shrug*

#Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Ownersaab? I better like him or he wont send me the invite to the next reunion and wont make upittu for me.

Naah, hes one real nice friend and I scared the shit out of him when I spoke "hot" stuff about the girls in Pabbas reunion. I guess he still
doubts my instincts. *grins stupidly*

#How are you today?
As insane, weird, demented, strange, frantic, crazy, uncanny, creepy, bizarre, untamed, eerie, senseless, tapori, mawalli, as yesterday.

I will be the same tomorrow, I assure you. Nothing changed in these
years. *gives a inane smile*

#Favourite Drink?
Milk.

I am absolutely crazy about milk and cannot sleep without one hot glass
of milk everynight.
Er, ma got me into that habit as a little kid. No food-wokay; no milk-
whannn

#Favourite Alcoholic Drink?
Smirnoff vodka gets the best out of me.

¾ vodka- ¼ sprite- ½ lime- ¼ sp salt gets me total rocking.
NOPE, I DON’T DRINK NOW-NOT EVEN IF YOU PROMISE TO
MARRY ME.

#Favourite Sport?
I used to love chasing guys and racing them on my saffire.

But even since I have grown into a decent, matured girl its been cricket.
Its just because during one day matches we put a jhanda in a friends
house and eat to glory. Who watches the match anyway?

#Hair Colour?
Once upon a time it was black, then I couloured it brown, now, its neither.

As a matter of fact, I don’t even have hair on my head. Some distant memories, ouch! If it grows back, it will be grey for sure.

#Eye Colour?
Brown.

I always get compliments for my eyes which are really bright
and huge and trust me, you can swim freestyle there and I'll join you too.

#Do you wear contacts?
Nope.

I have a complete 70 mm screen behind those huge pools which run
highly volatile images all the time. And I have visually strong genes from my parents.

#Siblings?
One not-so-li'l brother

17 years ago he was my little angle with his cute li’l eyes following me everywhere. Now he heads the devil's counsil and I need to follow him everywhere.

#Favourite food?
I am crazy about the amchi food and will wipe the plate clean.

This combo catches me raw: white rice-dalitoy-batata song-papad.

#Last movie you saw?
In theatre: Omkara with a huge desi crowd who clapped over every damn sentence. I had the heart to thrash one fellow badly.

Last night I watched one hopeless movie called Ladies Tailor and kept wondering how could someone produce such a senseless piece of story
and later kicked myself for watching it. I still have the hangover.

#Favourite Day of the Year?
Sept 7-

My parents gave me the best gift for my lifetime, my not-so-li’l-now baba.
(uh, I am absolutely crazy about my bro, cant help it! )

#Are you too shy ask someone out?
Nope, never.

Specially if I get the hint that they will pay for the bill, I don’t give a damn
if its a guy or a gal.

#Summer or winter?
Neither.

M'lore monsoons- I just love getting wet in the rains and making boats. I
am absolute crazy about going on long drives/rides when it pours.

#Hugs or Kisses?
I am a very ‘huggie’ person, I even hug the telephone pole on the streets.
Kisses- not so liberal.

#Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate, turns me on royally.

I usually make people very uncomfortable with my "umm-ahh" kind of sounds when I eat chocolate/ice-cream. Jeez, my team-leader Pavan, literally kicked me when people gave ‘him’ the questioning stares.
Since, hes refused to take me anywhere.

#Who is most likely to respond?
Harsh-to snatch the gold
Dev-to nod his head in agreement
Ovi-to laugh out loud

#Who is least likely to respond?
The whole bunch of friends who read my blog but never comment.

*guyz, take the hint and comment now, ok? and nope, you cannot tease
me with any of the given statements*

#What books are you reading?
Harry Potter & the goblet of fire for the 4th time.
Garfield, Peanuts & Dennis for quick read. Fairy Tales for bedtime.

I am a die hard Potter fan and I belive that one day even I will get a mail from Hogwarts and will be able to fly my broom. I am no muggle, you
see!

And I still read fairy tales at night, make me dream about my prince(actually its his horse that I dream of) No horse, then bike is fine.

#What's on your mousepad?
American flag with all stars and stripes ( a client gave it)

I am hunting for one with Scooby doo on it, please pass me one if you
have it, please.

#Favourite board game?
Monopoly-

Played a lot as a kid and was a perfectionist in cheating. I managed the bank and managed to transfer some black into my white account.
*smiles goofily*

#Favourite Smell?
Nothing pleases my nasal senses more than the first rains dampened earth.

I also get all mushy with coochy coo smell of li'l kids. They always smell
so sweet, specially after a bath!

#Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Nope, I cant.

But I can touch your nose wiht my tongue, yak!

#Favourite flower?
MM.

Uh, for the dirty minds, its Mlore mallige. I sport a mini mm on my head
for any traditional function and carry it well. Yes, I can definetly look like a
lady when I want to!

#What's the first thing you think when you wake up?
'hey ramachandra, thanks for everything'

Ok, those are not my neighbours or any random guys. I got into this habit -courtesy ma.
I always get up from my left(self feel good factor), touch the floor to tell a short shloka(samskrit sir driven habit from school-the one where you seek forgiveness from mother earth for threading over her), and mwah(a kiss to myself, I just love myself a lot).

#Nickname?
This calls for a post in itself.

But let me confess the name which no one calls but me to myself. SHINGAPPI - kind of strange, but yes, I love calling myself that. Nope,
you cannot call me that.

#Ever been so drunk you blacked?
Nope.

But sources reveal that once the guy sitting next to me did black-out
after my display of volatile skills.

#Have had a car accident?
Nope.

But have been instrumental in giving my Maruti one by running it straight into the compound wall on its very first day with us.

#Been hurt emotionally?
Hm, lets skip this question.

Hero refuses to answer nahi tho blog mein bahaad aayega.
(for the uninformed, HERO refers to me)

#Kept a secret from anyone?
Never from Mr.T and Mr.B

But yes, I do have a Pandora's box full of secrets about others which I would never reveal. Maybe I would think twice when you offer me temptations.

#Wanted to hook up with a friend?
What ? crazy uh?

Friends are for freaking out and not hooking. I rather bash them up
and break thier bones than getting hooked to any of my insane lot.
Guyz, I am sorry about this.

#Cried during a movie?
Er, this will spoil my tapori image but yes, I do cry.

I have watched Armageddon 7 times and I still cry. I love the final part where the li'l dada's girls talks to her dad for the last time. *aww*

#Had a crush on a teacher?
Er, not really.

But my MBA friends will tell a different story. So I rather be diplomatic
and smile. *flashes a colgate smile*

#Found any animated character hot?
Mr.Bean.

I find him really cute. I never missed his shows on Pogo. I know, my taste sucks big time but what the heck, You asked for it.

#Had New Kids on The Block Tape?
Jeez, nope.

I am a decent, innocent, susheel, girl. *ok, I am pulling it too far, but honestly, NO*

#Been on stage?
I grew up doing the MC all my life.

Me and the guy drawing the curtains were the only ones who remained on the stage that long. And once I got there to dance with this awesome guy dancing to a Tamil hot no where I was presenting a paper in a conference-Coimbatore.

#Fav Movie?
Padosan.

I can never get enough of Kishoreda, Sunil Dutt, Saira Banu and Mehmood and the song "ek chatura naar, karke sringaar"

#Fav Subject?
Psychology-

Thats were I undiscovered my hidden traits and talents.

#Fav person you talk to online?
Quite a risky question and I pedge silence.

#Do you have boyfriend/girlfriend?
I have many darling friends who are boys and girls.

I have no time for bf's and no instincts for gf's. So, I am basically left
to my devices with my three bumchums(peanut butter brain, blog and
tanhaaye)

#Who have you known the longest of your friends?
HIM

We went to BalBhavan, ghandi park and canara. That makes it 23 years ? (calls for a treat!)
There was one more dame, shes married now and orbiting in another
planet. There is Andy who is one of my darling for 7 years now, but we knew
each from school. Then there is a whole insane lot of guys and girls who
are real good friends from school and still pull my leg with classroom jokes.

#Who's the shyest?
Me, for a change.

Unfortunately our gang believes in being shameless. Each one can compete for the title such that others feel shy looking at us.

#Who's the weirdest?
Not me.

Each one of my friends can be crowned for being absurd and wacky.

#Who would you go for advice?
Ma.

Nothing goes wrong when SHE says it. And, I am still the 'ma, can I buy this' kind of girl.

#Who do you cry with?
Hm, one more question to spoil my dada image.

I have 4 friends (Ovi-Andy-Dev-Chikku) who have seen me cry over these years other than my ma-pa. And its easy to make me cry, just take my teddy away.

#Worst feeling?
Jitters about my lappy.

I am honest with this one. The thought of getting up one fine morning
and finding my lappy not working haunts me real bad. I love my lappy a lot
*kisses lappy* as it keeps me in my senses.

#Favourite word?
Ramachandra -
Thats one word I repeat in every mood with everyone. It gets me going.


Jeez, I am done? My hands hurt like hell. I guess I could claim Carpal Tunnel's from my company for insurance. But it was fun coz I thought about a lot of things in the process. Now my 70mm runs even faster with comet speed.

Someone has said that, I have done enough paap in this lifetime and I have no ideas of accumulating any more curses for my next, so anyone who is jobless in the office can pick this tag.

Majja Maadi.

Kaam ke beech, thoda Buddha

Its one of those days in the office when I have enough time, infact excess to 'think' about some very important issues of life like, er, which comic book is good for my kids, how to keep my hubby’s shirt white, which colour sari to gift my ma-in-law for her bday, when to get new curtains for my home and my honeymoon plans.

Naah! not that I am married or have any such insane plans to spoil any guys life in near future (although the thought of torturing someone innocent and decent appeals to me like that black filmfare lady) but I hate to admit that I am jobless in the office today.

So, taking great pity on the battered, over-worked souls of Mr.Brain and Mr.Tanhaayi, and I offered them that we could go for a walk. Now, I must tell you that these brats like anything which includes sun and sky, so off we three went chattering with bliss. They were not happy about me joining them but I had no intention to leave them alone.

B and T think I am insane, (not that I disagree) but I am always the butt of jokes for them. Not that I mind, infact, I enjoy their company. I take a backseat and listen amusingly to their views of life. Today, both seemed very intent on recalling a couple of old jokes and man! they were quite funny.

I walked alone (please note that Mr.T and Mr.B reside within me without paying me any rent with couple other useless tenants) around the park (yes, there is a small park near my office!) with a grin on my face and I feel that the squirrels and li’l rabbits around gave me a “oh, its her again” look. I guess they are quite familiar with me smiling to myself and er, talking out loud.

So, back to the topic of discussions, I recalled this particular one instantly coz even I had the pleasure of laughing over this for a real long time. I was a witness to a conversation between a desi and a firangi acquaintance. Both seemed to brew some interesting facts about religion and culture.

Now, being a bad history student and doing worse in my IAS exam (I had opted for history as my elective for reasons unknown to me) I had given up all hopes on my historical knowledge. For me, history reffered to some mythological movies by Ramanand Saagar where people draped themselves in strange silky robes, women refused to wear blouses, and everyone shot strange bows and arrows at each other for reasons known only to them.

Firangi(all impressed): So Buddhism started in India, uh?
Desi(pleased at her knowledge): yes, its connected to Buddha, their god.

Mr.B & Mr.T (giving wacky chuckels): oh, we have “connections” here, like underworld connections-supari lena kind ?

Firangi(a big question mark) : cool, he is their god? I thought he was saint.
Desi(pleased smile spreads ear-ear):you know what? actually King Ashoka discovered Bhuddism.

Mr.B & Mr.T & ME *shocked* (burst out on the floor): er, Buddism was 'discovered' er, like America, Australia?

Mr.B(with a straight face):well, if Ashoka 'discovered' Buddhism, what did Buddha do? uh, sell paani puri?

Mr.B & Mr.T & ME had burst out laughing at that display of "historical knowledge" if we may call it so. I remember that the history book in our school days sported some raajas and maharaajas with long mooch, sitting on horses and having a couple of wives. And history test meant writing pages on fights, treaty, bravery and such fundu stuff, which I assure you I am not good at.

But, this ignorance of our culture was not very acceptable even for a person with my weird standards. But yes, even to this day I can laugh crazy thinking about this incident. No, I did not go to correct the person as it would look uncomfortable with the Firangi around. Next time, I will.

So, the 'I-have-nothing-to-do' time was well spent with my two darling misters who never fail to amuse me with their demented minds. I must say that they are getting out of control and my 70mm runs absolute senseless images all the time. I guess I need to cut down on my "a movie a day, keeps my sleep away" theory and start watching 'bhakt kanakadas' and 'rushi valmiki' before these two make baywatch as their homepage.

*hmpf*Time to get back to desk buddy !

Growing-away from home

Living away from home in an alien land for a long time has made me realize a few truths about life, my life. For 23 years I was cocooned in a silky shell with love and warmth by my adoring parents, protective family and darling friends and I thought that my life was that perfect colorfully painted canvas.

One fine day the planets in orbit aligned together and decided that it was time for this canvas to learn some abstract art. And I was thrown far away from home, miles away from people I loved into a land surrounded by absolute strangers. I saw myself amidst high-rise buildings, far stretched roads, criss-cross bridges and people who were very different than me. I felt the same way as I had decades ago when my ma left me in kindergarten along with other strange looking-crying kids.

I was aware of being raw and vulnerable to this change which did affect me badly. I dint want to be here and I searched some corner which would give me some sheltering warmth. I was very cautious with my every move and built a defensive wall around me. My eyes searched for some friend who would share the same feeling but I was left alone.

I compared my life back at home and here in SD and wondered if I had made the right choice upon coming here. I had left back many things close to my heart, my family, my friends, my home, the guy I loved and I knew nothing would be the same when I come back. I knew that everyone would move with life, make new friends, chose different paths and I would be a stranger to them when I come back.

For a few days I blamed myself for choosing to come here when I could have comfortably stayed back home. I blamed myself for all the insecure feeling that had creeped into me, I blamed myself for being impulsive, I blamed myself for the different person I was molding into. I was scared that I was not being what I meant to be.

As months have passed, I do miss the familiar faces but I am glad that I chose to come here. I have grown and I can make out the difference for myself. I am no longer that li’l girl who would cling to ma for every problem of life and expect dad to console and give-in to her whims. I respect my parents for their trust and confidence in me. I realize that it was a great decision on their part to let me go and I am indebt for their support and encouragement.They still continue to hold the key to my life but I am more independent in making my own decisions. I can relate to them as an adult and they respect my decisions. I still crib to them about all my problems but they know and I know that I can handle them well and take care of it myself.

I may have left behind a few relationships, but I have made new ones here. I have made friends who are strangers to me but yet familiar as we share the same ‘far-from-home’ feelings. I have realized that my friends will be there for me irrespective of distance and time between us. They will always love me for what I am and accept me with all my flaws. I know that we might choose different paths as the time passes by but the common root will keep us bonded. I know that we might grow in our careers but still laugh at the same old childhood jokes with glee. I know that we may not have time to meet each other but we will still share the love and concern with mails and calls.

When I look back at the months in lived here, I am glad that I have changed. I am glad that I have grown mentally and emotionally and I respect myself for that. There have been no regrets because I know that I made the right choice. I have felt myself change and grow with my experiences.

I do wonder at times that things might have worked out different for me had I been in India, but I have absolutely no regrets as now I know what I want from my life. I will never be the same ever again, I know, but I definitely know that I will be able to take care of myself.

A few more months before I come back to where I belong, that’s how I feel about my Mlore, but I will miss SD undoubtedly. I will miss my life here which made me the person I am growing into, I will miss my life here which I really lived. But again, I will have no regrets leaving SD, as I follow my heart and my heart lies where I belong, in my home, with my friends.