Picking up life when I come back

I'll be back home early next year, yeah it means 2007 and I need to pick my life from where I left it. I could not resist putting up a small check list of "to do" tasks.

Here I go:

-Get a mobile. This is the first thing I need to do upon landing. Get a sleek cell phone and a nice talk plan. And get back to my sms freaked friends. Cellular service in states sucks big time.

-Brush on my driving/riding skills. Right lane-left lane, I have lost touch. Need to gear up on my balance too. I dont need seat belts either, yipee!

-Review all HR and Psychotherapy books. I have lost all my touch on the clinical terms and tools. I need to get my brainy back on path. And I also have to dust the books. *sigh*

-Resume my regular pranayama and yoga classes and regular thursday sessions at art of living. I was a regualr till I moved to Blore. Now, I shall be more disciplined. *er*

-Register for the research program. I need to prepare for the JRF exams and complete all the formalities. My short term goal at present.

- Accommodate some music lessons to brush my raag-taal. My guru always said that I sang well after a break. Need to see how this long break has me tuned.

-Resume my voluntary activities for children’s camp. This is the ashram where I used to go to host training programs for kids. I guess many kids have grown and left in the past 2 years.

-Recommence my radio talk shows and discussions. The regular Friday youth shows and Konkani talks. *happy face* (They always give some light cash for my pocket money)

-Register for the FC course for skill training. I need some re-touch on the training front if I am gonna host my regular classes for kids.

-Monitor the construction of our new house. I understand this would want me to climb 10 floors every single day and accompany mom to select tiles to knob to sink to carpet. *sigh*

-Start with my trekking activities. I need to get myself in shape to resume my regular trekking. This would include the regular rounds in the stadium.

-Register for a computer class to learn a new program. I badly need some updates on the program front. Mainly on accounts if I am to help my parents in their business.

-Renew all the library subscriptions. This includes my uni liab, college liab and my dear old reader’s delight. I also need to subscribe to Reader’s Digest and CSR.

-Track down my convocations. Its strange that they have not reached me yet, in spite of all my calls to the dept.

-Develop all the imaged photos taken in US. I need to frame a few and enlarge a few. Some sweet memories for my life. *sigh*

-Rearrange my room and put back all the old things. I have to sort out and arrange all the stuff I had packed in the boxes. I doubted that mom would throw all my stuff away while I was gone.

-Dust and vacuum clean all the stuff toys. They have been packed for a real long time now and they need fresh air.

- Get a whole new wardrobe. None of the old clothes would fit me and I need to scare my designer. (I have this way too expensive tailor who has a fancy degree from Mumbai. He believes in calling himself a designer).

-Intro my lappy to my old compy. My bro bundled my old comp in the attic when he got his new comp. I need to reset the old system in my room.

-Get a creative sub-woofer system for my room. My old system is connected to my bro’s new comp.

-Bro alleges my saffire is in bad condition. I need to get a new boomer for myself. How about a thunderbird?


**The list excludes the tons of people I have to meet, my friends, my cousins, my relatives, my mom’s friends, my granny, and all the remaining muggles.

**It also excludes the list of places I have to visit and I plan to visit in the next few months.

**It also excludes the food items on my list.

**It also excludes the movies I plan to watch.

Man, I am gonna be busy. Dont I just love coming back home!

Kuch puraani baatein, kuch purane mails

I have been into major cleaning spree for a long long time now. I dint even spare dear bloggy. Now, even my neighbors’ cat’s nose is sparkling clean and so is my lappy dear. This week I hit my inbox.
*drums roll*

When I say this week, it refers to a complete of two and a half days. The first two days were off for stalking Santa fellow and the last day is off to burn the oldie guy. So, I have no mood to do anything insane, namely work. I cleaned my mouse, mouse pad and the key board and hit the goal to clean the inbox.

Now, I have many sub folders here. Tons of official mails which are official in nature and loads of personal mails which are personal in nature. I stock my personal mails to read them on a rainy day and it never rains. *sigh* But I cannot delete them for several reasons. Some are in bits and peices and make no sense. So I was trying to sort them out or forward them to my yahoo inbox.

In the process, I found some real senti, some real stupid, some outrageously dumb, some very serious, some very sensible stuff. Many of which I had forgotten. Up on bloggy are the few which I can add without much censor. You see, its a family blog and I like to avoid volatile, insensible, mundane, sidey and indecent talk.


# Ignore the ‘doll’ part, only certain people get away with it. This guy was sane till he joined IIT. Now he is hopeless.

hello doll

in being a chivalrous creature i have terribly failed
(me) "THE LAZY-BONES" - from eons has not mailed

but woman's day brings out new thoughts in me
and sets me on a writing spree

your tumultous love life has all gone awry
nebulous form i see of a "dammu rao's diary"

but do be happy n sport a smile
never has it hurt to be a gay once in a while

compaq is good and pseud
but acer travelmate series is also nothing to brood

me too thinks will get a lappy soon
n then we can chat until in the west, sets the moon

ok my doll i have tons of work to do
but sign off i wont before a mwoooooooooo ;-*

# This one comes from my bestest friend. Nobody else could ever write so sweetly about me.

There's a girl whom I love,
Who I treasure so dear,
All it takes is a smile from her,
To make my day, perhaps my year.

Even though time conspires,
To keep loved ones apart,
The bestest friend one can have,
is my Gondu, so says my heart.

I may complain, and I do so crib,
I've hurt her feelings so much,
She takes all that from me,
And yet gives me her magical touch.

She's my joy, she's my sorrow,
She means everything, I can see.
I miss her so much, and I
Long for her to come back, to me.

This one's for you, sweetie,
Don't ever leave me so blue.
A tear in my eye, A song on my lips,
I'm always waiting for you.

# This one comes from a guy who got engaged recently. I have no clue what he was upto when he wrote this.

Hi, Guess what, I got engaged, she is very pretty, she is a girl.

# OK, I was on floor reading this one. It came from my Uni dept and one of the juniors would have written it. Watch the spellings. And I was in US and I have no clue why they sent the cd to Blore. But the mail was to the US-id. I still have not received the said cd.

hello dharmasri,

greetings from Mumbas,

we are sending you the placement cd to your bangalore office at our earliest convience.thenk you for your quick response.

regards

MUMBA2006

# Ah, this one is from my dear Dada, when I was in one of my mood swings. He is my partner in watching all the Imran Hashmi movies.

Life is like a book with many different chapters, some tell of tragedy and others of triumph. Some chapters are dull and ordinary, others intense and exciting. The key to being a success in life is to never stop on a difficult page, to never quit on a tough chapter. Champions have the courage to keep turning the pages because they know a better chapter lies ahead and most importantly you are a Champion.

If you encounter difficulty, don't change your decision to go, change your direction to get there.

# You wont belive if I say this one comes from my TL in Blore. You will not belive if I say that he made someone in the team to write this. But, he is a sweetheart. Which other TL would take you around mysore?

Tu kya apun ko kaccha khiladi samjhi hai kya??? Apun bhi smart hai.. Bangalore mera area hai aur idhar teri dadagiri nahi chalegi ...yeh baat apne bheje me dal le. Apun abhi yahan par bahut famous ho gaya hai aur sab log mere se darr te hai.. Yahan par item log apun ke upar bahut fida hai... Mangalore ki item log ko to mein jeb mein leke ghumta hoon.. Abhi mangalore gaon se bor ho gayela hai.. Tu jyda mach mach nahi karneka nahi tu copche mein leke jake kharcha pani de dega..
Abhi tu tera b'day theek se mananeka aur kuch taklif hai to Pavan bhai ko bolneka..
Apunka network USA mein bhi hai...bole to daru aur drugs ka..
Abhi tu samjh gayi hogi ki mein dedh shahana hai... Agli baar se apun ko salaam marneka aur ijjat deneka.. Yeh last time tumko maaf kaarela hai..

Abhi pyaar mohabaat se raheneka..

Zakaas,

# *Sigh* why do I have such jerky friends? My official id says its US, and this friend sends me this mail, even after attending my send-off party.

Hey, heard you flew to USA, did you really go there? And are you still there?

# This one is from my firangi supervisor who had come to India. When I came to US, he started mailing me in hindi and I have no clue from where he got the sentences.
And on this one, I have no clue why he gave me a gym session.

Namaste Mere Dosthte,
I got my run completed.....4.5 miles in 60 min. No speed records broken here. I am called a Clydedales in the running community cause I am large (over 200 lbs) and slow...I do about a12-13 minute mile. Tonight I do weights. I am tired today Not sleeping well this week. ok...back to work

"shub kaamanaaye"

# This one comes from my darling bro. I asked him to postal mail me some papers and idiot mails me about the cost.

will tell you how much postal costs
and will send u everythin...
bye

# Its only Andy who can write such things to me. And this nutty dame has been my darling for ages now. Now, what is wrong with me???

hey Gunju Baba,
Hw r u darling I miss u a lot re sumtimes I find my eyes moist while I think of our fun times together.

# This one is from my baby boo who never lets go a chance to murder my peace. According to him, I never work.

praise thee for doing work as work is something that comes rarely to you and working is something you would not want to embrace yourself with..
All the best for the off days when you have work...

# There is one lazy bone friend who thinks writing a word makes mail. This was a big mail for his standards.

Kya Hua. Aaj kal Munnabhai online nahin aa raheli. Meri wajah se wat lag gayi kya mamu?

# a dear friend sends me a count down for my return to India. (days not disclosed to surprise a few waiting souls)

well waiting for u .. just ** days to go ...

Sigh, I really have no heart to delete many of the mails. Many of the mails have been copied into word and forwarded into my yahoo id. Many of them are in my pen drive to be read later. Many of them deleted with a heavy heart. But I will have few more fun filled days before I relocate all the personal mails.

What's next for cleaning???

Confused me does no good

Now that I have decided to come back to India early next year, I am into a constant state of thinking and re-thinking. I spend my walking hours trying to figure out if I have taken the right decision. And my sleeping hours are often spent googling my thoughts to see if I have an answer.

So, this post is all about me ranting and raving as I am still trying to put my jig-saw pieces into a proper picture. It might be hazy but that’s what I am going through at this point of time. While I am thinking of this, I am wondering if it would have been any easier posting in the bloggy without disclosing my identity. But, what the heck, this is what I am and what I will be.

I came to US for all the wrong reasons for a start. I had just completed my MBA, I was not serious about the work I was doing, I was still doing my MS in psychotherapy, and going to US seemed like a good exposure. I also had a heartbreak to nurse, and a big ego to think anything sensible and rebel for a brain. US seemed like a small get away and a big opportunity.

Coming here made me know myself better. I lived independently, thought for myself, lived my life as I liked, traveled places, gained lot of experience, grew professionally, worked on my finances, planned for my future and most importantly, understood what I wanted from my life. It was very different from the life I had always lived.

Deciding to go back is my decision, it is what I want but I am not sure if it is the right decision after all. Coming back would mean starting from a scratch, picking up life from where I left it, making a new start and accepting lot of changes. More importantly, after all the independent life I lived here, adhering to parents will be the most difficult. Not that my parents are strict, they have been the most understanding friends I ever had. But it is gonna be difficult. Maybe that is why I am have still not booked my tickets.

I have made up my mind to continue my studies which would mean the curbing of my financial independence. This will be a challenge with all the freedom I had for these years. But I know I will manage. Its gonna be tough to go back to the books, to write exams and prepare for presentations. But I have to do it now.

I have decided to stay with my parents. Not because they need me but I want to. I want to be there to stop Ma from eating sweets, I want to be there to scold her when she neglects her health, I want to be there with my Dad to laugh at his jokes, I want to be there when he sings those old songs, I want to be with my bro as he writes his exams, I want to be there as he grows.

But again this would mean a lot of things. It would mean quitting the promising career for which I have worked so hard. This would mean leaving this country of which I had dreamt as any normal student. It would also mean a lot of changes in my finances. I will be leaving back everything that I had yearned and lived. I will be going back to start anew and take all the risks.

I know I will get a job in any of the fancy companies with my profile and work experience. I know I will get a big pay package too. It may not be as thick as my current one but significant enough. I know I have my friends who will always stand by me. I know I will adapt myself to all the changes and new demands.

Coming back is much easier knowing that I have friends waiting for me. The distances and the times have not created a vacuum in our lives. I know my friends will always have a hug for me whenever I need it. They have always been there for me, and I feel secure to know that they are there.

But many things scare me. When I think of starting anew I feel apprehensive. When I think of changes in my life I feel timid. When I think of how difficult it will be to get back into track I feel wary. I am not a coward, I never was. But this will need me to be strong.

I am unsure how my tomorrow will be. I am not sure if have made the right choice. I am not even sure if things will work in my benefit. All I know is that this is what I want.

I want to come back home.

Some grapes, some wine & me

Ever since I came to US, I have been keen on wine tasting. Not that I am much of wine person, but they said it was a very interesting experience, to taste, to smell, to see. And I dint wanna miss this experience while I had the chance.

I missed some of these chances being dead lazy to get up early in the morning, some by being lazy to go anywhere during the weekends, and some by just being un-winey.

My knowledge of wine has been limited to 'you order-I drink' types. In the process I have gathered some info on the types that I like. I like red wine. Never the dry ones. Not the very sweet one either. The one without much of grape skin. The one which creates a flimy layer on the glass. The one which is a little bitter. I like to sip real slow. No cheezy food with wine. One wine at a time.

So with this limited knowledge I have been doing pretty good so far. And I had this small urge to 'do' the actual wine tasting before I left to India. So, last weekend while travelling to San Francisco the wine valley was so inviting to resist that we just spun our car towards one of the winey for a small dose of the wine tasting.

Here is what I got.


After every harvest the fields are fertilized and prepared for the next crop. See how neatly the rows are laid.

The grape vines grow all over the place and its really cute to see the grapes hanging. They remind me of the fox and the grapes story.

Grapy from close-up. These are really old grapes which were hanging from the vine and I could not resist clicking them.

This grapy arch connects the fields, winery and the main area. It fitted ditto into the Mills & Boon romances.

The wineyard where we went for wine tasting. It was closed that day but we did do a bit of exploring around the palce.

The wine tasting lounge. They neatly arrange the bottles and label them and it indeed is a sight to watch.

Yeah, thats me! I was also singing the fox and the grapes song from my kiddo days.


Yeah I do like wine, but nothing beats Margarita heads down.

Having a wash

After all these months in US, I had my first wash yesterday! An automatic wash at that! Can you imagine my thrill at that!?!

Well, it was not "me" who was having a wash exactly, but er, it was a friends car who was having a gala bubbly shower. But you know, we were inside and it was er, kinda exciting.

The whole process goes something like this. You pay a few dollars for that blissful shower. You drive into the furnace like wash area. The furnace actually speaks to you to pay, to drive and to stop. The furnace even moves and a me looks all zapped.

Then there is zooming sound from all directions and soapy water juts on the cary guy. Next comes the whirlling Helen's skirt like scrubber which rotates at hyper speed. The whole car is then washed with the sprinkler and next comes the last stage of drying. A huge dryer blows cyclone kinda hot air onto the car and LO!!! you car is sparkling clean.

































Sitting inside the car during the shower session was a thrilling experience for me. You know, I felt like it was a dinosaur trying to get me and I was sitting cozily inside. Yeah, its insane but I cannot help it when my brainy gives such 70mm obselete waves.

Anyway, The whole 5 mins was indeed a blissful experience. I enjoyed every moment of it. I guess I enjoyed more than the 'car'y fellow himself. *sigh* if only we had something like that for us.

And for those who are celebrating my prolonged absence, continue to have bottoms up, on the rocks, or neat, all on the house. I am still continue to be with my work hangover.

Bloggy had a quick shower

This week has seen me do a lot of cleaning. I cleaned my desk, I cleaned my carpet, I cleaned my room, I cleaned my wardrobe and I even cleaned my nose. So nothing in hand which needed more cleaning, I resorted to catch hold of my darling bloggy. Long time since I saw what he was up to.

Ever since I started to blog and read other’s blogs, my bloggy made friends with other fellow bloggies. I have been very choosy in reading most of them. And when I like a blog, I read it from the time they started-till date. Yeah, it’s kinda weird but I like to know what happened in the life of that bloggy.

For me bloggy has life. He has a beginning and he has a growth period. Many things would have happened in that time and I want to know everything about him. This is because I read him only when I relate to him. And if I can relate to him, I as well know everything about him.

Then I have a real nice pic of the person writing it. Even if I have never met or seen the hand behind that bloggy, I create my own image of the person. It makes me feel very comfortable when I read or comment on their bloggy. It helps me connect.

I like to read blogs because they talk to me about many things. some which I know, some which I don’t, some which leave me wondering, some which leave me laughing, some which I would like to experience, some which I have already lived.

So back to my bloggy, I have been thinking of deleting the links which no longer existed. Some have not been updated for months together and some had disappeared altogether. And I wanted to add the new bloggy friends that I have made. So, if you find a few links missing and new ones smiling at you, its just that my bloggy had a quick shower.

Now, what do I clean?

Ramblings around the magnetic darts

I have had enough, just enough. The final straw was when I read the comments section of my previous post. I realised that I was turning into a deep shade of insanity. Then what else can explain the carpet cleaning post ?

I guess the winters is not doing any good to the already freezed brainy. And to top it, the work is piling itself into heaps of unsorted papyrus mountains. Not that I am taking any pains to sort them out but this gold fish sized peanut butter brain just cannot take it anymore. Winters is for hibernating, not working.

I really wanted to post about my Portland whooping vacation with 2 of my friends. I wanted to load my pics into my yahoo album. I wanted to write a series of post about the adventures we had. I wanted to write about that way-too-expensive resort we stayed in. I wanted to write about the snowy mountains and snow storms. I wanted to, but I cant, just cant.

My day starts with mails from my bossy and ends with mails from my bossy. In between these bossy deadliners, I try to accomplish some tiny winy bit of work but its as lame as Ash in Umraoo Jaan. Just tell me, how could one compare her with legendary Rekha???

As I think of Ash, I have to mention the Dhoom 2 success. I kept jumping like a drunken dudley watching the movie. Well, I agree that it did not have susbstance but gosh, it had lot of meat on show. Bips, Ash, AB, UD and Hrithik. I kept drooling big time. Half the movie I kept wondering how it would be if Johny guy had made it too.

"Bips-Johny-Bikes" -my killer formula to perfect drool!!!

I simply loved the bikes in the movie. And these days I am seen browsing Harley sites with much devotion.

"God, please let the guy I marry have a mega thing for bikes, please, please, please. I shall wash the bikes with sunsilk shampoo every week. And please make it a thunder bird, er black one please"

I have to add that these days my target practise is improving big time. I got a magnetic desktop dart board and these days the darts keep flying with hyper intensity. It even helps in regular tp in between work. Yes, I work these days, much to my suprise.


my magnetic desktop dart board










see the darty options, kinda funny uh?










While yahoo chatting today, a friend said that he wished he will have a daughter like me. Well, he does not know me much, else he woould not ask for such grave offers. My sincere sympaties for his wife. Imagine having a kid like me, completely insane and weird and demented and rowdy and untamed and insensible and incoherent and interesting!

"God, please dont listen to him for he does not know what he is asking for"

Not that I am all that bad but you know, having two like me is not a very comfortable thought. It can be very disastrous. My mom said so too, when I asked her what would she do if I had a twin. She still dreads me coming back to India.

On a very serious level of observation, I have noted that most of the bloggers that I read are writing very incoherent posts this week. Each post has no what so relevance with the usual flowy thoughtful posts. Its kinda weird that all of us are doing this as the same time. I guess its that time of the year when we celebrate the "insane posts week".

Well, I know that mine tops the list today. So I am crashing before my comments section is grueled with innane comments. *yawn*

Dharmu's magic carpet

And I was glad that we had carpeted floors???

When I first landed in US, I was kinda impressed with the soft carpeted floors. They added a soft touch to the place and it was blissful for my bare feet. I could simply curl up at any corner and feel warm like a teddy bear.

Everytime you vaccum clean it, it would feel like a soft ball of cotton under your feet. During winters, it would be warm and you lazily rub your foot into the plush fur. Watching late night movies with a plop pillow was just too comfortable.

But, lemme tell you, even a smallest tiny drop of anything but water, gets you down on your fours to clean the spot spiky clean.

*see the ziddi daag. jaaneka naam-o-nishaan nahi.










*carpet cleaning was never so easy, sirf do boondh kaafi hain.










*aise daag, waise daag, jaise bhi daag ho, instant cleaner hai na.












For those who wonder why the 'magic carpet' title???

Kya hua is, I was thinking about a title line and brainy suddenly flashed Alladin's magic carpet. So I wondered, if I had a magicofied flying carpet, it would save me a few hundred dollars on flight tickets.
*sigh*

Why do I read you ?

Even before I want to write what I wanted to write, what I wanted to write will have to wait because my brainy just got this irrepressible urge to write something that he’s been thinking since morning.

When I go to the comment section of a blog, any blog for that matter which lists in my link section, I often see the same people hanging out. Even if I randomly click on other’s links, I usually stumble across many familiar bloggers who often hang out in the same blog lounge.

Does that mean that people hanging out there have similar tastes as me and come there for the same reasons as I do?

Then, why do I read the blogs that I do ?